Potential Car Buyer: Hmmm. What were you hoping to get for it?
Sidewalk Monkey: I was going for $900 or so, but now I don't have time to get it smogged and I'm moving in like two days, so I'll take as low as $500. Because now the buyer has to smog it himself. I didn't know till just now about the whole smog thing.
PCS: I can do $250.
SM: Um...? Well, how about I wait and see if somebody else makes an offer, and then call you tomorrow if I still have it?
PCS: Cool. I can be there within ten minutes of your call.
SM: Oh. Wow. Ok.
PCS: I can tow, like, ANYTHING.
SM: Uh. Well! That's great, but the car drives just fine. Doesn't need a tow.
PCS: Oh. (Sounds disappointed.) Ok. That's good.
SM: What's your name?
PCS: Kahio. K-A-H-I-O.
SM: Hey, that sort of sounds like a Hawaiian name! Are you from Hawai'i?
SM: Oh. Sorry, it's just I am, and I always get excited when--
PCS: But what I am is really good looking.
PCS: If you want me to be Hawaiian, I'll be Hawaiian, baby.
SM: Um, that's...huh. Nice of you?
PCS: You got it.
[So then I got off the phone and thought, what just happened? Did my car sales call turn into a gigolo solicitation call when I wasn't paying attention? Did I call a potential car buyer that has been doing a lot of very casual dating recently who got confused midway through the call? Is "You emailed me about my car for sale," some kind of grownup code for something booty-call-related that no one has filled me in on?
Happy news is that someone bought it for a much more comfy price than $250 and now I don't have to wonder whether I should call this guy.
But sad news is that now I miss my car, which I named Lucille. I think I need to write a blues ballad about her. Any suggestions for lyrics will be appreciated.]