Friday, August 22, 2008

Jam Guy and Sidewalk Monkey start planning their wedding in earnest

Sidewalk Monkey: Let's look at wedding dresses online!
Jam Guy: Ok.
Sidewalk Monkey: Yay! Dresses!
Jam Guy: Yay, dresses.
Sidewalk Monkey: I like this one. But I don't think I could get my boobs to look like that. You know how they do that? I think they use duct tape. I guess I could get someone to duct-tape my boobs.
Jam Guy: I think I should be the one to duct-tape your boobs.
SM: What? Why? Because you don't want a stranger touching them? The way it works--
JG: No, because I know how to use duct tape. You want someone who has a lot of experience with duct tape.
SM: Oh. But have you duct-taped boobs?
JG: Well. No.
SM: Maybe I should find someone with a lot of experience duct-taping boobs.
JG: Are you going to pay someone to duct-tape your boobs?
SM: I mean, there must be people who are experts at just that...How do you take off the tape, though?
JG: ...
SM: I don't really like this dress, anyways.


Mayumi said...


I like your wedding planning. May it always stay so lighthearted. Not a bad wish for a marriage either.

SurfRunner said...

Here here!! What May said..

P.S. "JG: No, because I know how to use duct tape. You want someone who has a lot of experience with duct tape."

That is very typical engineer... =) I thought his response would be "Well, No. I've never duct-taped boobs before. But, all of the principles still apply for that kind of adhesive medium".

For a strapless gown, those stick-on bras are supposed to work pretty well.

sidewalk monkey said...

Thank you both for the nice wishes! I hope it all stays lighthearted too. I have high hopes.

Generally for strapless dresses, I invoke the privilege that we in the Itty Bitty Titty Committee (oh god, I hate it when people say that; I just gagged myself) enjoy, and just go bra-less (and tape-less). But the sheer perkiness of the boobs in the photo we were looking at was so just gratuitously astounding, if obviously enhanced by some kind of adhesive medium, that I briefly considered allowing duct tape to be applied to my boobs.

But in the end, I was far less concerned about the adhesive medium than about the medium to which the adhesive was supposed to, like, adhere. I mean. Owie. I think I will just stick to my commando-boobiness. Okay. Enough of my talking about my boobs on the internet.

Boobs boobs boobs. There, it's all out of my system.

Mayumi said...

well, they make bras that actually STICK TO your boobs. Surfrunner knows all about that, because that was when our friendship got really intimate ... on my wedding day, when she and my other bridesmaids had to help me stick my adhesive bra on my boobs.

SurfRunner said...

Indeed... It wasn't so much the sticking it ON to my May's boobies, as it was to peel it OFF of May's boobies, cause we didn't stick it on straight the first time. According to May, it didn't really hurt when I peeled it off. But, it sure LOOKED like it hurt. I felt bad.