I have been busy with trying to get married, and I keep starting posts--posts about the complex things my brain is doing while I am trying to get married, all sorts of things like reviewing my ideas about marriage and happiness and balance; and posts about gratitude for my amazing friends and family who are making this wedding turn into a community-supported event, an event binding and defining community in new and beautiful ways for me; and posts about little anxieties like getting all the RSVPs straight and will it rain and should I be skinnier and big anxieties like why do I deserve to be this happy and how do people live knowing that the most precious things in their worlds are temporary at best and what if I am doing something crazy. I keep starting these posts and then being distracted by the lists upon lists of little details in my head: rickshaws! parasols! poppies! mason jars! and then I leave the posts for another time.
Two weeks and a day to go, and then I can finally stop saying "my fiancé," like a goober.
I have every intention of coming back here, with more frequency, more clarity and fewer run-on sentences, after the wedding. Actually, no promises about the clarity and run-on sentences.