Ok, I have to post this too

A little over a week after my first visit with Jam Guy--whom at the time was termed "California Boy" among my friends, because it somehow seemed too early to use a first name and because in spite of my best efforts to the contrary (I'm sorry, May, I know you love this show)and the fact that I have only watched it like twice I think I am influenced by the culture of "Sex and the City"--I was still firmly rooted in New York and trying to figure out how to reconcile that with my undeniably burgeoning feelings for Jam Guy:

From May:
Reply to: (see message body)
Date: 2006-11-16, 6:19PM

$1800 Rent - $2100 Deposit
4 Bed/2 Bath
1850 sq. ft.
Beautiful peaceful private yard
No smoking
Avaiable Now

From me:
:)
yes, may? where's this going?

From May:
I know... I'm naughty! I've been searching CL...I saw that
ad and couldn't resist sending it to you. $1800!! A whole house!!! Can
you imagine? 4 bedrooms!!!! in wine country!!!!! that's incredible...

;) xoxoxoxoxox, may

From me:
oh yes, it's beautiful! now i have this whole big quite fantastical fantasy of moving to cali and being pampered for the rest of my life by california boy...who needs school/work/subway stress?

hey, you and dave take one bedroom, i and CA boy will take another, jenjen and the ideal lovergirl we'll find for her will take a third, and the fourth can be our kanekapila room/recording studio/creative writing space/art workshop.

imagine the dinners we'll make! and the wine we'll drink with them, brought back from neighboring vineyards...

ok...ilovenewyorkilovenewyorkilovenewyorkilovenewyork...

sigh.

:)


xoxoxoxoxoxoxxx-L

From May:
that was the most beautiful fantasy EVER. EVER!!!!!

'course.... does it have to be fantasy??

k, I'll stop because I know
youlovenewyorkyoulovenewyorkyoulovenewyork...

then again, so did jenjen and i....

tease, tease, tease & love you!!!
May

Anyways, you get the idea. Jenjen joined it and we fantasized about it all day. At the end of the day, May wrote:

you guys, i really wish we weren't kidding. i want to live that life
we just made up!!

let's just promise ourselves we won't rule out a scenario something
like that...

And today, here's the thing: this could actually really and truly happen. It is possible May and Dave will move back to the Bay Area someday; Jenjen has all on her own found a partner so ideal that it seems as though Raquel is drawn for Jenjen out of some perfect karmic rewards system reserved for people who, like Jenjen, are models of filial devotion and loyalty and love to friends. I am moving up to be in wine country with Jam Guy. I am half-disbelieving in my happiness, in this idea that 2006's crazy fantasy could come this close to touching my real life, that my very real and amazing California Boy has turned into the man I want to spend my whole life with. Like May said: Does it have to be fantasy? Why did I ever hold myself back from believing I should follow my every happiness? How did things get this good?

Every single day I am grateful.