tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2802874470207498067.post8497752756765652912..comments2023-06-29T07:15:05.860-07:00Comments on The New and Unapprehended Adventures <br> of <br> Sidewalk Monkey: And now I have to write thisAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10856416830175542729noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2802874470207498067.post-28320488062400018742008-03-23T23:41:00.000-07:002008-03-23T23:41:00.000-07:00thank you, love. i am so glad to have wonderful pe...thank you, love. i am so glad to have wonderful people in my life like you who are allowing me to process my process.<BR/><BR/>i do remember that night at your birthday party. it's weird thinking back to it now. i am back to being all about miniskirts, but i don't think i can ever take them for granted in the same way. which is not a bad thing--i have a whole new appreciation for my sense of self and my freedom of choice, and that's one of the good things to have come out of this lesson. that, and definitely the importance of self-preservation--you hit that one right on the head. i am all protective now about my self of self, which is again this little new and fledgling thing. but it is good to hear other people reminding me about how important it is, because sometimes i start fretting that i'm being selfish or paranoid or overly prickly about stuff. i appreciate your love and support, and i appreciate your perspective on all this, and i really appreciate your being ok with me sharing this, because i know it's kind of a downer.<BR/><BR/>i love you!<BR/><BR/>xoxoxoxoxoxox-LAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10856416830175542729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2802874470207498067.post-72686916750731618262008-03-22T19:11:00.000-07:002008-03-22T19:11:00.000-07:00sweetheart,thank you for letting us be part of the...sweetheart,<BR/><BR/>thank you for letting us be part of the process as you sort out your feelings and lessons learned. this was some powerful writing here, sister. you broke my heart with this entry. i only met your ex a few times, thought what you must have when you first met him, that he was an average tempered man. <BR/><BR/>the one time i got a glimpse into the world you were really living in was when you showed up at my birthday party at a bar in the village, wearing not-tight jeans, two high-necked tank tops layered, your hair down, your face almost bare of makeup. (of course you were absolutely stunning, still, because you could wear a brown sack and make it look good, but that is neither here nor there.) i was drunk and so glad to see you, but you were a little withdrawn and eventually ventured to ask if you looked like a slut. you looked like the furthest thing from it in the whole bar. even my roommate and i who were sexing it up for our bdays were not "slutty," per se, but surely showing way more skin. and i was too drunk to really process it at the time, so I sort of laughed it off, "of course not!!" but it made me so sad to wonder why you'd even get to the place where you'd worry about such a thing. you told me later it was because the ex had give you a hard time when you left the house. i couldn't believe this.<BR/><BR/>your ex was many things, but threatened/vulnerable about losing you was clearly one of them. you are so obviously a beautiful woman, but that's not all you have going on. and how stupid is it that instead of trusting you (you who are one of the most trustworthy persons i know) and trusting himself (that he could be fallen in love with by such a woman) he had to fear with every moment the loss of you.<BR/><BR/>if i weren't so fucking PISSED OFF at your ex, i would feel sad for him.<BR/><BR/>but i don't care about him, i care about you, and i care about the wonderful fact that you are grieving and processing and healing, and that you have found someone who can trust, appreciate, and see you for the person you are.<BR/><BR/>just promise me and those who care about you *one* thing: please keep your own preservation at heart. let that be the lesson learned. I hope that you would never again sacrifice yourself so much for the sake of making something work. <BR/><BR/>I love you and am sure I don't have to tell you any of this, but because I love you I will tell you anyway.<BR/><BR/>xoxoxoxo,<BR/>May in the BayMayumihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09661734935980647820noreply@blogger.com